Don't Give Up

The summer comes and my hair is forever blown in the warm midnight breeze. I walk down the slightly slanted platform of rocks down to the river. The moon makes the slightly damp rocks look fluorescent and they glow. My ballerina toes find their way to a flat rock and pull up my dress and sit. I look up at the crescent shape moon and the girl in the dress finds herself with tears streaming down her cheek onto her fingers that lay on her lap. She hates this feeling. That feeling of looking up at the stars wondering why your alone at that very moment. Wondering why no guy thinks your good enough for them. Wondering why the guy your practically in love with isn’t standing right there next to you holding your hand. That girl in that dress is me. And at this moment in my life I’ve given up. I’ve given up on love and how people see me. I don’t believe in those fairy tale endings for love because that’ll never happen. In the past two months I’ve put up a glass wall around my heart almost like it’s on a show case proving to guys how fragile it truly is. I don’t see the beauty some guys see. He seems to have find someone better. Someone with a cleaner complexion. Someone whose smile shines a little bit more. Someone who does a tighter pirouette. Someone who isn’t me. I think to myself maybe if I was skinnier. Maybe if I didn’t have this Irish temper maybe if I was just a little bit prettier. He wouldn’t have walked away like he did. He woulda wanted to save that little girl all alone. He woulda wanted to catch every tear for her and take all the pain away if he really cared. My optimistic outlook on this has flown out the window. Time to make myself happy